decentering romantic relationships || hey look another rant :))

I watched this video and I love it::

They don’t get to the decentering romance bit until half-way through the video but um… yes.

also I dare you to take a shot (of milk!! bc milk is disgusting. unless it’s chocolate) every time I use the word “romance”.

also don’t assume any of this will make sense. cause it won’t.


Decentering romance.

This idea is my favorite thing ever.

Cause guess what?

Romantic relationships aren’t that important.

We need to revalue platonic relationships.

Cause if you didn’t have platonic relationships? you’d be dead.

without parents or guardians or siblings or family or friends??? no one to take care of you?

you’d be dead. legitimately actually dead.

platonic relationships are necessary for life. romantic ones are not.

SO WHY DOES EVERY SINGLE THING HAVE TO RELATE BACK TO ROMANCE??!??!??!?!?

assassin1513.tumblr.com - Tumbex

“oh do you have a crush on them?” *they’re just someone you said hi to*

“aww they’re so cute together!” *they’re children*

“ooooo do you like them??” *you mentioned someone of the gender you’re attracted to*

“you don’t have a crush on anyone/?!??!?!??/1//1??!” *you’re living a happy crush-free life*

“when are you getting a significant other??!” *you’re just existing*

honestly? i’m sick of it.

i am so so so so so sick of it.

like why is it that if you’re like, out with your friend or something, people would assume you’re “together” first, and not simply friends?

why isn’t friendship a priority? the “norm”? I really don’t get it.

even children are taught that romantic relationships are the only “worthwhile” ones. that you can only have a family with a romantic person in your life.

like have you ever heard of a friendship family?? ever?? without any romance within it?? legitimately, i cannot.

I have trouble imagining a life without a significant other– only because i’ve never seen it. i cannot think of a time where i’ve seen someone live life (happily! no woe-is-me in sight! no past lover!) without romance.

women are taught that a romantic relationship is better than none. (men too, but women especially). and so they settle for less than they deserve.

women deserve so much better than that 😭😭😭😭

women deserve more respect than they get.

women are just so neat.

din djarin on Tumblr

me locking in my love for y’all

why is there romance in children’s movies? like there are more movies centered on romance than friendship?? at least the movies I grew up with.

and there are so many movies where the protagonist ditches their friends for a significant other. and it’s so!! dumb!!

romance isn’t that important.

I mean this is coming from someone who legitimately gets scared of any romantic plot in her life but shhhh

but really?? children’s media shouldn’t have romance.

I don’t really have a good clear answer except that it teaches kids that romance is the only option. when really your platonic relationships are better.

I want to see more stories about people who grow old with their best friend. People who don’t ever have romantic relationships. People who don’t whine about their lack of romance. Someone who is content with their romance free life. PLEASE I NEED IT I NEED IT! IT WOULD SAVE MY LIFE. YOU’D BE A HERO.

anyway.

ofc it’s okay for romance. but it should not be the center of your life.

I’m really tired of the whole “you show affection to a friend? oooooo you like themmm”

I am SO. TIRED.

Like, I have this friend, he and I get along really well, but since I am a girl and he is a boy O B V I O U S L Y we’re interested in each other. (sarcasm!!) even tho we agree on staying friendzoned. (not sarcasm!!)

my mom actually asked my BROTHER if I had a crush on said friend because quote “yOud nevEr tell ME”

and last year said friend and I talked to each other at a my dead friend’s FUNERAL and afterwards my mom was like “oH y’All woULd be sOOO cute TogetHEER!”

like bruh we were at our best friend’s funeral just trying to find something happy in an otherwise horrible time. not to mention that was the first time we’d ever had an actual conversation.

And I like to talk about actors and actresses but espECIALLY tobey maguire (and thor/chris hemsworth, because my mom thinks he’s neat) but my DAD thinks it’s because I have a CRUSH on them. which is noT the case. I’ve started obsessing over Agatha Harkness now and I’m curious to see what happens there asjhbfjkdshsjk

but anyway like can I not think a person is cool? say I love them they’re amazing the character is great without wanting sex/be in a relationship with them? cause they’re cool but I am NOT attracted to them. I just think they’re cool. and occasionally pretty.

there’s a lot more I could go into but… as some of y’all may know I got into a sticky situation with a friend (we’re still friends, I think we cleared most of the issues up but that’s another thing)

Basic premise: We were friends. He liked me. I had no idea. He asked me to date him. I freaked out for six months. I friendzoned-ish him. He persisted-ish. I finally told him how he upset me and a bunch of random stuff. We figured it out. We are cool.

But my dad kept trying to talk me into dating him?? like, “no i don’t want you to date but also he’s nice and he likes you so give him a chance don’t let fear get in the way.”

like bruh I wasn’t scared I just didn’t want to but I was anxious but like BRUH SHUT UPPPPP

And literally last week my friend and I were talking and we’re anxious and were rocking back and forth and my dad said we looked cute???

Din Djarin Is Hot and Those Are the Facts | The Mary Sue

I’m not sure if I’ll ever participate in a romantic relationship, but I do know I’ll have standards. they’re simple standards, but unfortunately?? it’ll be hard to find someone with those standards.

Standards:

  • an actual christian (bc duh don’t be unequally yolked and all that stuff)
        • “actual christian” as in someone who actually reads the Bible and respects people and all that cool stuff
  • feminist (because if you don’t respect women why are you here)
  • doesn’t want children
  • not sexual (uhmmmmmmm sex makes me uncomfortableeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEE so let’s not????????)

And uh that’s about it?? Ish?? wait no one more

  • likes Spider-Man 3

Okay I’m done.

But honestly this isn’t a priority for me. My dream is to live in another country in a small house with a bunch of reptiles and my little brother. Literally he and I would have so much fun.

And I want to get a phd. because yes.

that’s the dream and I don’t see a romantic partner anywhere in there my guy!!

it’s just discouraging– the lack of platonic life partner representation. because those exist. and I want one.

I hate this whole “you’ll change your mind when you’re older” rhetoric.

like sure I might be an itchy dragon-obsessed high schooler but that doesn’t mean I don’t know what I want.

if someone says “oh I wanna be married when I grow up!” no one says “oH you mIGHT chANGE yoUr mINd sWEEtiE” or “yOU’rE too youNG to knOW”

like bruh that’s a child saying they wanna be mantled to a selfish human being forever. maybe don’t encourage it.

and since romance was so prevalent in society I kinda forced myself to have crushes?? so I was “normal”

My boyfriend talking me down from an imaginary crisis when I'm PMSing... -  Album on Imgur

me to me when remembering these situations

IT WAS SO DUMB I LEGITIMATELY WISH I DID NOT EXIST IN ELEMENTARY/MIDDLE SCHOOL AHHFHDSFAHBFASKL

but like the first “crush” was me thinking he was cool and good.

wait no my first crush was robin hood and it was me wishing I was him. I wished I was robin hood for the majority of my childhood. (the same thing happened with han solo ahfshbjak)

second?? same thing. (he liked star wars and we talked about it every school day it was great!! now he’s kind of stupid so glad I was too scared to say anything dhbfnjskj) (also I have written proof that I chose him out of a lineup of boys to crush on)

third?? literally I started “crushing” on him because I’d zoned out and stared into space and happened to be looking at him and my friend said “oooh you’re staring at him you liiiike him!” and i was like “yeah makes sense”

and also said friend was SUPER boy crazy and I didn’t wanna be left out of the “fun”

ughghghghghghghghghhghghghghghghghghg I legitimately hate my past self UAUGHUSJAHJKKKKK

Din Djarin Baby Yoda GIF - DinDjarin BabyYoda Grogu - Discover & Share GIFs

idk what he’s saying pretend it makes sense

but y ea h.

I have problems.

I don’t know what’s exactly “wrong” with me but I do know that I legitimately don’t care anymore??

like boys are neat (sometimes) yeah but no.

girls are cool but thank you, next.

anyone else? y’all are beautiful but uhm see ya.

it’s very simple!!

WHY DON’T PEOPLE BELIEVE ME *cough* my parents *COUgh*

dindjarinedits Tumblr posts - Tumbral.com

“he likes you!!” “it’s ok if you have a crush!!” “*unbelieving glance when you say you don’t like anyone*” “OOOH DO YOU HAVE A CRUSH??”

one din djarin gifset per episode | chapter 6: t... - Tumbex

please assume nothing and stop saying things like that!! or else!!

like romance/sex/significant others aren’t even that important to life, like I said.

the problem is i’m scared of the future I don’t wanna be alone (but also I do)

I really haven’t decided what I want tbh

also , even though this society puts so much emphasis on crushing, I don’t know what a crush actually is. what is a crush??? how do I not know???

like what happens when you get a crush? how do you know? cause if I had known what a crush was I likely would’ve saved myself from the intense desire to beat myself up.

cause I’m pretty sure:: whatever a crush is, I definitely haven’t had it.

sooooo

yes.

i’ve tried looking up the definition but it doesn’t help!!!!!

the only definition of crush I grew up with was the one in dork diaries… and also I had undiagnosed anxiety so I probably confused “butterflies” with “near panic attack”

alright I went to urban dictionary here are some definitions:

  • A person who gives you butterflies and makes your heart beat faster. A person that you can’t describe in a word, but multiple words. A person you can’t get off your mind.
  • A secret burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special, with whom there’s low or no chances at all of being a couple.
  • When you like someone more than a friend. Someone you’re attracted to, someone whose personality you like a lot. They might like you back, there’s always hope 🙂
  • a burning desire to be with someone who you find very attractive and extremely special.
  • Someone who makes you want to kill yourself and kill them because they are way too cute and beautiful to be yours and you just sit there and eat cheese burger with tears streaming down your face
  • The one person who will single-handedly destroy your existence.
  • your always think about this person who you admire and would do anything to date them

I don’t really know how to decipher this. I don’t know what this is. What is it. What does it mean.

Mando My Beloved Din Djarin GIF - MandoMyBeloved DinDjarin MyBeloved -  Discover & Share GIFs

like I get it??? but I don’t??

it sounds a bit desperate and crazed and irrational and… painful.

yeeeaaahhh I don’t think i’ve ever had a crush.

it sounds horrible.

This Is The Way GIFs | Tenor


anyway that was a rant and I don’t think any of it made sense but guess what?? I’m posting it anyway :))) i hope you enjoyed goodbye

Baby Yoda The Mandalorian GIF - BabyYoda TheMandalorian Warrior - Discover  & Share GIFs Star Wars | Star wars humor, Star wars memes, Star wars fandom

7 thoughts on “decentering romantic relationships || hey look another rant :))

  1. THIS IS GREAT (I don’t have time to watch the video rn bc I’m about to go to class but hey)
    But yeah! Everybody has different definitions/degrees of sexual and romantic attraction and society really does place too much emphasis on romance. Also, it gets on my nerves SO MUCH when I happen to like a male character/author & their work a lot (or something like that) and somebody immediately responds with “oH, yOU hAVe a cRUsH oN hIM?” LIKE STOP PLEASE LET ME JUST ENJOY WHAT I ENJOY IN PEACE
    Also these Mandalorian gifs are 10/10

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved this post, I related to it so much!! Lol I’m nineteen and I’ve never dated anyone either (to be honest my parents wouldn’t encourage it cuz I’m still at school and my country is awfully conservative) But yeah I go to a girls’ school and the idea of boys scared the heck out of me (still does sometimes) literally the first thing a guy friend of mine said to me was, we aren’t a different species y’know. And every time anyone mentioned anything about a boy while talking all the girls would be like you like him don’t you urghh.
    Yasss the idea of sex freaks me out too and I hate it when sex is shown as this ‘final thing to attain’ in a romantic relationship and then everything is sunshine and butterflies after that because love=/= sex. Haha I’ve only had one crush and it was a girl who happened to be my best friend who sorta liked me too but then I freaked out and she freaked out and it blew over because neither of us mentioned it again and things are still awkward (like I said, conservative country. Anything lgbt is not.talked.about and it sucks). But romantic relationships or not, i am happy with myself and ive never felt lesser than myself or something for not dating anyone and that’s the only thing that matters?? We definitely need more friendships/platonic relationship stories because in all honesty I find myself cringing so hard when I read high school romances cuz they are never relatable to me. At all. And, totally out of the topic – ahh I love those mandalorian gifs!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • SIUYIGFHJKLJHGFDERTGHJKR
      YES SAME LIKE IF SEX IS SUPPOSED TO BE THE HIGHEST FORM OF LOVE>>>?? WHAT??? I GUESS I’VE NEVER TRULY LOVED MY MOM OR MY CAT LIKE I’D SAY THAT’S THE TRUEST LOVE THERE IS ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
      yes yes I’m very happy with not dating but sometimes I just get insecure but mostly like… I don’t care.
      no the mandalorian is very on topic I love him
      thank you for your comment!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. okay completely off topic – but robin hood is an ICON lmaoo!! also 100% agree with you that platonic relationships and family relationships are SO important, and sadly so often overlooked!! even in a lot of YA fiction, the book is centered on romance, when it could just focus on family instead dskfjdsfkjdkfj

    i love this post so much 💓

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s